My worries..

What I worry about? I worry about myself all the time..

and I am worry of my God brother.. who always think negative on me..
No matter how much I care to him, he always not putting into his heart and mind. Maybe he dont know how to cherrish it, but if say other country, people will appreciate so much.. and make you the most wonderful person in life..

Well, for me, pampering is not CARING, thats why I am not pampering, sometimes yes I will, and when I am not pampering, theres always a fight. Or maybe thats what makes him hate about me.. The thing is, always say I dont understand him.. but I tried.... I do want to, I understand if always not sharing with me? I mean when you are sad, I dont even know you are sad.. because by not telling, I am not you, so I dont know, besides, not knowing how to make him happy thats worry me also.. i just dont know why I worry.. sometimes, I know his situation, when he asked for my help, I will try to help.. but theres one thing I learn, never say promise or will do, because there are many times when I am alone not in good situation will force to give help.. well, maybe he doesnt know how to understand the situation also.. many times I dont know What I did wrong, he always seems to be always right, and I am wrong, and sometimes, I know I have been used.. or maybe not, i cant make a diffrence.. I still Help.. dont think he sees it or not.. or I MUST help him. Remember got 1 time, went to buy cloths, since I know his situation, so I helped. My salary is just enough for me if spend less, at shpooing, he kinda not controling, I am sad he is happy.. that day spend RM500 on cloths only!.. so I have RM200 left... I try to say he spend too much, but says i am not understanding, of cuz la, I mean whos money is he spendng.. besides, money not easy to earned.. if got girlfriend who spend so crazy, sure the guy will not stay longer la.. I am not saying he is bad, but I really really honestly want to change his attitude abit.. I want to ask friends to help me, but since he says dun tell anyone, so I worry.. I am trying.. but I worry this and that.. but my God Brother maybe thinks other way.. I am not a good person to share life with.. or maybe when he is in trouble only ask my help.. I am SAD too.. but what to do, no one knows and cant tell his name.. I am worry when things gone bad to him.. yea, I am already a GOOD brother maybe.. if for girl, lol she already want to take me in her life, i mean iGirls always wants someone who can care her and take care of her.. lol who wants an unhappy marriage? If ask girls who finds a guy, who dont want me its a lost.. well, the world today is so materialistic anyway.. all talks about dating then Breakups, or Cheats, or divorce.. as long as I remain as who I am, I said What I do I said. promise is a promise, I never break one.. but ppl misunderstand that when I say promise not mean IMMEDIATELY.. but soon, lets give TIME..

No one knows me so much because no one cares to know me. I try to be as good as I can.. it all ended up nothing..

so I worry again.. and sad.. and YES I enjoy be with him all the time..
I wish he is either my REAL brother or Someone Special more than just a Brother.. I am proud of you, because you are brave to face so many difficulties.. I am Happy that you are Happy. Know what? I at anytime will try help you, I am not rich, but at least thats my willingness to give you whatever that makes you happy. I am stupid people says, as if they know which I say nothing to anyone .. I am trying to be someone at the end will like me, share your sadness with me, really, like always I really dont want you to have your own problem face alone. Alone cant solve it.. I am worry and worry and worry, why? because if no one cares you, at least you have me I care.. thats what I am doing..